“I didn’t realize until I started trauma work that I had so much tension within. It’s like I was two different people. One person that was “good”. This good part of me felt capable, confident and able to tackle anything. But, there was this other part of me that I tried very hard not to notice. I tucked her away where I couldn’t see her. I felt ashamed of her. I felt panicky when I was connected to this part of myself. I didn’t understand that the harder I tried to move away from this “broken” part of myself the more unsatisfied and anxious I became. When I was triggered and this “other” part of me was brought to the surface I felt shame. I was very good at hiding this messy, emotionally reactive part of myself.

The words trauma integration describe my experience perfectly. Initially, I had this sense that the trauma within me was “bad”. I wanted to get rid of it. However, the part that I actually wanted to let go of is the shame, panic and fear. Because of my trauma, I have many beautiful qualities that allow me to connect with people and notice others. I learned that I was able to accept the “other” side of myself. I stopped shoving down the reactions and, with proper support, I listened to and expressed everything my body had been trying to tell me for years. As I listened and validated, a beautiful miracle happened. I was able to let go of the panic, shock and fear of the trauma. Because my whole self was able to recognize that the trauma had passed and was no longer happening. The remaining parts of me were able to be fully accepted and integrated into my whole self. I’m no longer two different people. I am just me. Safe, whole, calm and learning how to show up in the world with my whole self.

I was worried that I would get lost or overwhelmed by my brokenness. Instead, I was able to tend to the wounds and embrace the amazing strength I developed because of the experiences I have been through. I am strong and full of light and I love that I no longer feel the need to hide parts of myself. ”

“At the time, some things from my childhood kept resurfacing and I knew this work was meant for me. Of course I kept going back and forth whether I should go for many days.

My first session, I felt nervous of course. My first experience that I went to was my father’s death. I was six years old when this happened in my life and although I have learned that death is not the end, that I will see my father again some day and have had some healing throughout the years, I learned that my six year old self only felt scared and sad and didn’t understand any of this. As I went back and described my experience of saying goodbye to my dad before he passed away, I would talk about where I was, who was with me, and how I was feeling. I was encouraged to say how I was feeling. Then was asked to consider: If you could go back in time and be with your younger self what would you do? In my mind, I had the opportunity to go back to my younger self and comfort her, explain things to her, and use the Power of the Atonement to watch Jesus Christ take my dad home with him for a little while. As I type this I cannot do my experience justice. I cannot explain the wonderful feeling it is to change the hurt experiences into a healing and new experience where I am able to comfort and teach myself.

The amazing thing about this Trauma Integration is that the client leads it; the practitioner is there to help guide and direct you. It’s about finding truth and light from the past. After I finished my sessions, I felt physically so much lighter and I didn’t even know that I felt heavy. I felt inside I had so much more capacity for patience and love than I did before. I would honestly recommend this to everyone! I feel that everyone can benefit and wants to be made whole. ”

“I had many challenges that were extremely difficult to deal with before I tried trauma integration. I was in and out of doctors offices, therapists for the last few years and hospitalizations due to extreme cases of panic attacks and disorders that were so extreme that I would hallucinate and lose the ability to speak clearly temporarily. I also had anxiety and depression as I struggled with suicidal thoughts. I felt that I could not drive a car or take a walk by myself. I cut off contact with most relationships and self sabotage any opportunity to move forward in life. I was not able to sleep through an entire night due to anxiety from past trauma. I did not trust anyone, especially those whom I was close to. I was always tired and always frustrated. I was angry and resentful and had many crying spells randomly everyday.

I would absolutely recommend trauma integration to everyone I know. I already have told many people I know about this kind of process. It was life changing. I credit trauma integration for the life I have now. It’s only been 3 months since I stepped into the process. I have accomplished many goals. I took myself and my child and we left an abusive relationship and moved away. I drove a car by myself! I applied to 6 Universities and over 100 scholarships. I exercise and have made healthy goals for this year. I made a 5 year plan. I hired a mentor to teach me how to become a successful entrepreneur in marketing and business. I wrote and illustrated a children’s book about complex emotions. I am taking care of my child. I am not afraid to go outside. I have not experienced one single panic attack. I talk to most people I see with a friendly attitude. I made friends. I am now In a state of self awareness and make decisions based on my goals, not my fears. I am thriving and happy! I feel lighter, kinder, and independent.”

“Before trauma integration, I had a lot of walls up. I had severe trust issues. You could say I had the great wall of China up. I also felt guilty for a lot of things that weren’t my fault. I would apologize to people at work and at home for things that weren’t even my fault, nor did they have anything to do with me.

I would recommend this process to everyone and anyone. Even if it’s just for a two hour meeting. Your mind will be open to new possibilities you never knew were there. Now I have my guard up, but it’s not like the great wall of China, instead it’s more like a fence with a lock on it, and I can let people in and out as freely as I choose to do so. I also don’t feel alone, I don’t feel anymore guilt for things in the past nor for things happening currently, unless they really are my fault. I feel confident and rejuvenated. Best experience of my life, 10/10 would do it again if I feel the need!”

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